Yesterday, I experienced a very simple yet deeply powerful meditation in a 1:1 session with my mentor.
In that session, we cleared a subconscious belief that had been quietly playing in the background for years:
If I don’t follow the rules… I’ll let people down, get in trouble, be deemed unworthy or unloveable.
In other words:
I have to shrink to feel safe.
And I have a feeling you might relate.
During the meditation, I was guided through memories from childhood, more recent experiences, and even moments far into the future. It was work I’ve done before — and similar to the kind of work I support my own clients through — but this time it landed on a deeper level.
One of my biggest “aha” moments came when I connected with myself at four years old.
And what became so clear is this:
So much of this human experience is about remembering.
Remembering who you were before fear, conditioning, perfectionism, and people-pleasing became strategies for safety.
Remembering the version of you who was bold, curious, playful, expressive, and fully alive.
The version of you who:
• asked questions
• tested limits
• followed joy
• created freely
• trusted inner nudges
• loved deeply
• and didn’t need permission to be herself
At some point, many of us learned that being “good,” staying in the box, following the rules, and being perfect was what made us safe, successful, or worthy.
But often, no one explicitly taught us that.
It was something we came to believe through a moment in childhood that our young brain misunderstood… and then internalized over time.
And slowly, without even realizing it, we began to shrink.
We got quieter.
Safer.
More disconnected from our truth, our joy, and our aliveness.
Perhaps you can feel where this lives in you, too.
Because so much of this human experience is not about becoming someone new.
It’s about reconnecting with who you already are beneath the performing.
And that, to me, is deeply connected to nervous system regulation.
When the body doesn’t feel safe, it will choose approval over truth.
Perfection over play.
Control over curiosity.
Fitting in over full expression.
But as we regulate — as we teach the body that it is safe to be here, safe to feel, safe to choose, and safe to be seen — something beautiful begins to happen.
We soften.
We open.
We remember.
And from that place, self-expression becomes more natural.
Joy becomes more accessible.
Clarity returns.
So I want to leave you with a question to sit with this week:
Who were you before the world told you who you should be?
And maybe even more gently:
What does the younger version of you want you to remember right now?
If this feels tricky to connect with, take a moment to pause with me now…
Feel your feet on the ground.
Notice your breath moving in and out of your body.
Gently close your eyes, or soften your gaze.
Reflect on a time when you felt free, joyful, curious, playful, and fully yourself.
How old were you?
Where were you?
Who were you with?
What were you doing?
What qualities from that version of you are ready to come back online?
What shifts when you give yourself permission to honour them now?
Because sometimes we don’t need more rules, more discipline, or more self-improvement.
Sometimes we need permission to play.
To rest.
To trust ourselves.
To be fully expressed.
It is safe to be you.
You can trust yourself.
If you feel called, please share what came up for you in the comments. I always love hearing how this work lands in your life 💛